Meanwhile

Time. 

I'm frustrated with it. Its strange how I've spend so much of my life wishing for more hours in a day to get things done and suddenly wishing for less. I feel guilty for wanting time to speed by. But really, I am leaving for the PEACE CORPS in 217 days. I hit submit on my application over a year ago. I am past the point of impatience for my departure date to come already.

I'm normally such a go-getter, a live-in-the-moment type of person, but for the time being, I'm kinda stuck in limbo. My future is much more exciting than my day to day life and its hard to focus on the now. I continually daydream about visiting Max or Mozambique. My American life pales in comparison.

BUT there's not much I can do about Time. Its just kinda there and continual ticks at its constant steady pace. In the mean time I plan to keep busy (my not so secret ploy to make time fly).

Between now and May I hope to:

-run a half-marathon in December (maybe a full in April)

-study for and take the GRE

-work work work

-learn Portuguese

-and fill my remaining hours with volunteering, friends, and family

Time doesn't make the long-distance stuff any easier either. I try to always be honest about my feelings in this blog because I know other volunteers or future volunteers may be searching for long-distance advice as well. I try to stay positive (despite all my complaining in this blog, I'm really quite a glass-half full person), but at times its tough and when I'm feeling really down, writing it out helps.

My life is continuous ups and downs now. I'll be fine one day, but then find out that Max can't call tonight, or realize that I still have so many months till I leave. It's just hard; really hard to be separated from the person I love most in the world. I want to share and hear every detail of his day and my day, but sometimes he only has a few minutes to talk which is rough. Enough to say a quick "I love you" or "Good night". He is busy as a trainee; his schedule is packed and with the time differences and lots of rain in Fiji, finding time for him to call has been lacking the past few days. I miss him, a lot. The worst part is that this isn't exactly going to get easier. I said that I was training for a half-marathon, will long-distance relationships are like a marathon as well. Its hard at the beginning we're only 1.75 months down the 27 month total and that's not including the additional separation with my service. I don't see us quitting, but I'm already struggling, not with keeping up the relationship, but with general feelings of sadness and longing for him and we've barely begun.

Right now I am cheering on the sidelines while Max has his 8 month head start. I just really really miss him and its tough knowing we'll still be separated for 2+ years.