Little Bit Longer

This is a hard post to write. 

According to all my calendars and countdowns lying around, I should be scrambling to pack and prepare my life for my departure to Mozambique in two weeks.
But this isn't the case.

Little over a month ago, I still had yet to receive final medical clearance, even though I was supposed to leave in less then sixty days. I was corresponding with the nurse going over my file making sure I had everything turned in. There didn't seem to be anything standing in my way of getting that final clearance. I am healthy and all my tests came back normal. I thought maybe they were just backlogged.
My heart nearly hammered out of my chest and tears stung my eyes as I read the message with their final decision:

"The Peace Corps Medical Officer in Mozambique and our Medical Advisor have both been consulted regarding your case. Unfortunatly, you will be removed from your class."

I was devasted to learn, quite suddenly, that I would no longer be going to Mozambique. Instantly, my status on the portal went from "invitation accepted" back to "nominated"; a huge backward leap! What happened, I thought, I'm healthy; I was supposed to leave in 50 days! Apparently, because I passed a Kidney stone two years ago, the Peace Corps are worried that should I pass another one during my service, I wouldn't be able to get the urology support that I would need in Mozambique.

Normally, medical pre-clearance catches medical conditions such as this and you will only be nominated for countries that can care for your needs, but I, for some reason, got passed through without anything being written on my chart, even though I had submitted specific paperwork about my kidney stone. Finally, once I got to the final clearance stage, they realized that I can't serve in that country, even though according to myself and my urologist, my kidney stone history doesn't pose a current problem. I argued and pleaded and tried to negotiate my way back into Mozambique, but they were set in their decision. The nurse going over my file did apologize and seem sympathetic for the mistake that was made in my case, but I'm still a bit miffed that I never received an official apology.
I know that peace corps volunteers have to be flexible, but being pushed back three times feels like a bit much.

Devastated is only the brink of what I've been feeling. To have the rug pulled out from under me so suddenly has broken my heart. This whole journey, I've waited and waited hoping for the best only to be thrown off by one worst case scenario followed by another, and I haven't even left yet. Each set back, I've told myself that "its only a little longer, I can wait just a bit more," but that little bit longer has turned into over a year of extra waiting beyond the estimated year Peace Corps tells you to be prepared for. A "supposed" temporary time of living at home and doing boring office work because it doesn't make sense to find another job, a job within my field or one that isn't so mind numbing,  if I'm leaving in only a little bit longer has turned into a year of just waiting.  I haven't been able to work towards anything, or accomplish anything because every couple of months my situation changes for the worst and I'm thrown completely off course. It is completely out of my character to not be doing something. I've been having a lot of personal pity parties; which is completely outside of my normal sunny disposition.

I know things aren't all bad. There have been some smiling moments within all the angsty ones, and I'm even grateful to have been living at home as my family has been living through some setbacks as well. But that doesn't stop this news from being heart-breaking, especially right before I would have left. Their decision can't be changed; all I can do is move forward. My patience is wearing mighty thin, but I've wanted this for so long, waiting just that little bit longer can't hurt too much.

The Peace Corps was able to offer me another invitation, which I accepted,  to a country that can take care of me in the off chance that I pass another kidney stone, but that is a post for another day :)

Why Peace Corps?

My Peace Corps journey has been long and arduous, and it has yet to begin. September 2012 I hit submit, subscribing my future to just over two years of service in the "hardest job you will ever love." Soon I will be on that plane surrounded by like-minded individuals all craning our necks for that first glimpse of our new home, Mozambique.

Why?
Why have I chosen to leave my friends and family behind for two years? Why did I choose to be in a long-term long-distance relationship? Why have I chosen to forgo hot showers, tasty treats, cheese, unlimited internet, my very comfortable bed, my comfortable life, and, uh, did I mention cheese?
Why did I decide to join the Peace Corps?
With just under two months left to go, its about time I answered that!

In my mind, Peace Corps oozes adventure. It promises new things, people and language, and a chance to explore my limits all while (hopefully) leaving the world, or at least a small part of it, infinitesimally better. Small acts of kindness may not seem like anything, but they are still good. That cliche hundreds-of-starfish-on-the-beach-making-a-difference-for-that-one kinda good. So even though I know I won't cataclysmically alter the future of our world, I hope to at least make a dent. 

You know that meme: what my friends think I do, what society thinks I do, what I think I do, what I really do, etc?

This one?

It's entirely accurate (from what I hear!)

A lot of peace corps' change doesn't happen dramatically, its more of a quiet gradual shift. Showing confidence in a student-normally overlooked, having tea with community members, sharing differences and also noticing similarities. Normal things in a foreign place. Restoring faith in humanity where life is often dominated by simply surviving day to day. 

True, I do not have to travel to Africa to perform acts of kindness. I could probably be a more effective humanitarian by staying in my own little corner of the world, speaking the language that I know, and working to better local projects and initiatives. But, admittedly, I am going into the Peace Corps selfishly, with some altruistic goals thrown in. Peace Corps coincides not only with international development but also internal development. Of myself. 

It will boost my resume, help me get into grad school, and allow me to learn a new language almost fluently. I will develop and hone skills in health education and project organizing and management. I will form life-long friendships and get a break from hectic, stressful, internet-run American life. TRAVEL. I will get to feel that prestige every time I say that I am a Peace Corps volunteer.

The great thing is that the Peace Corps is not blind and idealistic. They recognize the "white-man's burden," so to say. We cannot enter a foreign community with the expectation of making it "better" according to our standards, but must work within the constructs of the culture we are placed. And it is entirely unsustainable to send people who can't speak the language, don't know the culture or customs, and are unskilled themselves. That's why the Peace Corps doesn't do that. They choose volunteers who meet a set of requirements with experience in health, education, agriculture, business, etc. Once in country, these volunteers go through 3 months of language and technical training to be deemed fit to release into their respective communities.

They have 3 very realistic goals that meet both the altruistic and selfish goals of their volunteers and the countries they serve:

1. Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.

2. Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.

3. Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.

Objective one is obvious, we all want to help people; we all want to do something. The other two are the meat of Peace Corps, or "what we really do." Projects fail, that is almost a guarantee. Plans fall through, there is never enough money, and time either flies by or seems to halt. But 2 and 3, that is where the gradual shift of change comes in and continues long after service ends. This is telling your neighbor's children about the glorious deliciousness of pizza or describing the simplicity of village life to family back home. Inspiring villages to embrace equal gender roles and teaching women back home how valuable our rights are. It is the act of sharing successes and failures and everything in between. Our world is big, yes, but humanity is becoming more interconnected than ever before. Learning about each other is, perhaps, our best way of promoting peace and international development (internal development too!). 

Mark Twain put it best:

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."

So it is with great excitement that I embark on this journey for a variety of reasons.
Ultimately, I joined to explore. To explore the world, new places, new people, new food, but to also explore one of the greatest life-long mysteries, myself.

Sincerely,
Laura the Explorer

Hump Day

T-minus 95 days!!! Double Digits! woot woot!

Though I got back from Fiji two weeks ago, I never really blogged about my travels, sometimes, most of the times, photos create a better picture than my words ever could (and they're more visually interesting, obviously!). But I figure Fiji should have more of a post in this adventure blog.

Fiji in one word: green. Everywhere. It rained at least once everyday I was there and it was glorious. It was also humid, hot, and sweaty but who cares when the sound of rain and waves lulls you to sleep.

I arrived on a Friday (leaving on a Wednesday, losing a day in the air) and after 11 hours on a plane and 5 more hours of jet lagged head bobbing on a bus to Suva, I had the moment I had dreamed of for 5 months: getting to hug the love of my life, basically recreating the reunion scene running through a field of flowers in a cheesy romantic comedy (though this setting was the Holiday Inn of Suva, and a bunch of Fijians gave us weird looks for the usually unwarranted display of PDA).

For me the weekend was spent exploring the market, stores, and restaurants of Fiji's capital city (sounds so hunger gamesesque!). For my boyfriend it was a chance to absorb all the air conditioning and warm showers he could before returning to life outside of the city. A vacation for both of us!
During the week, my boyfriend still had to fulfill his Peace Corps duties and go to work each day. I, meanwhile, took advantage of a week without responsibilities and played with my new camera, slept, and read to my heart's content; just happy to have conversations not through a screen and getting to wake up next to him everyday.
The second weekend we went to a backpacker's resort staying in a beachfront bure, enjoying the views of the ocean sunsets, green jungle, and spending way too much money on overpriced menu choices. I had the opportunity to also meet his friends and fellow peace corps volunteers which made me all the more impatient to get my own service started.

I don't go on too many trips as a full-out tourist. Most of the trips I've been on have some sort of purpose to them, so it was nice to have an actual vacation in a vacation destination for the sake of visiting my boyfriend and nothing else. No guilt about whether or not I was making an impact, or doing the right thing, no moral conundrums of international development or sustainability, just travel and visiting.

Now that I'm home, I feel like I've made it over the "hump" of my waiting time. I got my invite in September and almost died with anguish at the thought of having to wait 8 1/2 months to leave for Mozambique. But now, there are less than 4 months left! That seems like  an infinitely smaller amount of time, a doable amount of time. Yet, it still feels far away most days.

But I have the next 4 months to prepare….mentally, physically, emotionally, and materialistically (I mean packing) and plenty of time to become increasingly annoying to everyone who knows me by changing every conversational topic to talk of the Peace Corps. 

Beachcorps

If there are any perks to long-distance relationships, visiting my Peace Corps volunteer boyfriend in Fiji is one of them!

Bula

Fiji, here I come!!

Facelift

Ta-da!

Ben-vido (welcome in Portuguese) to my new fancy smancy blog update!

It's much simpler and a bit more modern.

Holidaze

December, month full of birthdays, pretty lights, cookies, and lots of classic Christmas movies!

Don't get me wrong, I'm still counting down days, but I'm glad I'm in the states for one more Christmas. 

Soon enough I'll be packing my bags for Fiji! I try to squeeze this little tidbit in to at least one conversation a day. What can I say? I'm excited, and the words "Fiji," "Peace Corps," and "Mozambique"have simply become a part of my speech pattern.

Here's some catch-up of recent happenings:

December 11th, was my boyfriend's birthday over in Fiji! I sent this package a few weeks ago, and it has yet to arrive. I hope he has as much fun opening it as I did wrapping it!

To whittle away time, I've taken up knitting again!

And I ran my second ever half-marathon! Coming in at a time of 2 hours and 23 minutes! 20 minutes faster than my last one!

I hope to do another in March!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

This time next year I'll be Christmasing' in Africa!