Finally, there are less than 200 days till I depart for Mozambique! I cannot wait until that number drops to double digits (by single digits I will be dying of excitement).
I'm finally starting to be comfortable again with everyday life. In the last two and a half months I moved back home, started a new (and boring, oh so boring) job, said a tear-filled "see ya in 3 years" to my boyfriend, and basically lived each day just so I could cross it off my calendar. I felt like I had taken a huge step backwards in life. This wasn't how I expected my Peace Corps journey to be. I originally expected to have left by now (a year after I applied). My delayed departure delayed my life. I've always been ambitious, but I feel like I'm missing out on exciting things and accomplishments by moving home to save money. Its hard to get over this feeling of just waiting, the feeling that my life won't begin till my departure in May.
Maybe its the holidays speaking, but days are becoming more enjoyable. I'm focusing more on getting the most out of this extra time I have with family and friends. Weeks are moving faster, weekends especially. There are dates I'm looking forward to besides just May 28th. I feel like I'm learning to enjoy the mundane, because life is made up of these boring times too.
A few weeks ago, when the boyfriend was sent to his new site, I went through a sort of epiphany. His site was very rural; only getting cell service after a 15 minute walk up a hill. Long story short, his phone ran out of minutes and he had no way of contacting anyone. He was completely disconnected from everyone outside of his small village. The following night he had a deathly asthma attack. He seriously considered giving up then and there and coming home. For the time being he has been in limbo at a hotel in Suva until Peace Corps can find him a new site closer to a hospital, just in case.
During this time we both reconsidered our desire to do the Peace Corps (especially doing it separately). As much as I'd like to say Peace Corps is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I wouldn't give it up for anything, I can't. Despite how long and hard I have worked to get to this point, I am not on my own anymore. I have someone whose life is intertwined with mine.
That was a rocky week. We are coasting now, moved along by the ability to skype every night while he's in the city. I don't quite know how we got up from that low, but I think we're both set and more committed now to our own peace corps' journeys. We made it through the first rough patch; the first real batch of homesickness, and came out better and stronger. Ups and downs are part of Peace Corps' life, but they are a part of any life and learning to ride out these waves will be invaluable once I, too, am living the Peace Corps roller coaster.
